Balancing Your Passion with Quality Family Time

Hello. It’s me again. Okay, so life has been a little busier than ever before. Kaleb placed 1st in his Regional Tournament, which meant a trip to the State Wrestling Tournament in Prescott, AZ. Oh, and there is the training for my very first half marathon I had to fit in between fulfilling my mommy and wife responsibilities. Kaleb didn’t place at State. It was very heartbreaking to watch him loose, knowing it was the very last time we would ever watch him wrestle. We have committed 4 years of our lives to watching him compete on the mat. He was visible frustrated and disappointed. He went out of the stadium to be alone and my husband went down after him to give him some fatherly advice and then left him to be alone. Eventually, Kaleb, made it up into the stands and hung out with us for a while making sure to give his daddy the biggest, unsolicited, hug before he rejoined his team. Is there anything more satisfying than seeing your son turn into a young man right before your eyes?

The purpose of this blog post is to give you a little insight on how we turn our passion for sports into quality family time. I will start by saying the fact that both my husband and I are both sports minded helps but even if you could care less about anything to do with sports I hope you find value in combining your passion with quality family time. For us it comes down to four basic steps:

1. Establish a Routine

2. Get the Kids Involved

3. Relate Life Lessons to the Sport

4. Have Fun and Go with the Flow

Establishing a routine is the key to handing down a legacy. During football season our routine depends on if the Cardinals are playing at home or not. Mr. C and I have Cardinals Season tickets, so if they play at home, the kids are watched by grandma and if they are away we watch at home, complete with a full Sunday menu of football food. The kids have learned the basics of the game by learning to wait for breaks, like half time, when we all play together. Every year we attend Opening Day for the Arizona Diamondbacks. During certain innings we get food, play on the playground, get more food and of course in unison sing “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” (a song my children learn as toddlers). Even more important, whether at home or at the game, our kids are taught from an early age to stand, remove their hats, and place their hand on their heart when the National Anthem is played, respect plain and simple. Our family looks forward to our established traditions upon each new sport season but we remain flexible by trying out new things as the kids get older.

Getting the kids involved allows them to become more invested in your time together. Our kids helped to decide our football menu every week. They also went with us the night before to shop for all the items and then helped to prepare the meals. We play math games using the score. The kids do not even realize they are learning! Last summer, Karisa, learned how to keep score during a baseball game. Now, she loves to watch just so she can keep score. Kaiden is all boy and prefers to reenact what he sees on television. Mr. C is happy to oblige. The baby is the most involved. She is the only one who will sit and watch an entire game, cheering and clapping the entire time (even if it is for the other team).

Relating life lessons to the sport is something I miss most about my dad. Up until the day he died I had only been to a handful of baseball games without my him. It was his time to give his insight on whatever was going on in my life at the time by using baseball analogies. It is a skill I lack but I do use the actions of players on the field to point out life lessons to our kids. If they are demonstrating poor sportsmanship we point it out and seek their advice on how it could be handled different. As much as possible we point out the good that goes unacknowledged by the media and make it a big deal for our kids making sure to praise the action, not the man (or women). This past College Football Season we had fun looking up the Bible versus players had displayed on them and discussing what it meant and hypothesizing why they chose the verse.

Having fun and going with the flow is crucial. Yes, Mr. C and I love to watch sports but we do not tie our kids down and make them watch too. We watch and hope that by following the above three steps, our kids will sit and watch too. We play catch in the house during the breaks, we call them to watch the replays of great plays, or while they are sitting with us, sneak in a life lesson. We celebrate by giving high fives and doing a silly dance. Is watching the game a priority in our house? Yes it is but make no mistake our kids, our family, our God come first and when life interrupts the game we go with the flow. Besides, we can always catch the highlights on Sports Center.

originally posted 2/19/2010

Juggling Quality Time with the Reality of Busyness

As soon as we decided to be conscious about the time we spend with each other this year, our time was kidnapped by the world. Fourteen days have gone by this year and this is the first time I have sat down to write. Dinner is on the stove, the kids are watching a movie and my husband is on his way home from work. Our family is in the midst of juggling some big transitions, all while trying to maintain our Resolution of Time.

On New Years Eve my husband was pleasantly blind sided with a promotion at work. We are obviously excited and thrilled but with this new position comes a shift in our normal. His hours have been a bit on the heavy side while he is learning the ropes. Even though our precious family dinners have been effected and I’m having to take on more of a burden here on the home front has cause some stressed, I have to constantly remember the big picture and give praise for this answered prayer.

For Kaleb, it is wrestling season. For the rest of the family that means traveling around the state to spend hours at a time in a musty high school gym. I remember my dad always showing up for whatever it was one of us kids were involved in. For my husband and I we do the same for our kids, often pushing convenience aside. This has been a successful wrestling season for Kaleb and I am so excited that I have been there for every minute of it. We have made the decision to pull our kids from school during his Friday/Saturday tournaments. We do this to give our time and attention to Kaleb while he is wrestling and spend time with the other kids during the many breaks. Unfortunately, with my husbands new position he had to miss one of Kaleb’s tournament. It was a gut wrenching weekend but my husband did manage to leave work and make it for the championship round, give Kaleb a hug and congratulate him for taking 2nd place and zipping back to work.

As for the rest of the kids: I am diligently working on building a closer relationship with Karisa. We have made several meals together from a cook book she received as a Christmas gift. We have also discovered that if we ask he to write out her answer she is much more open with her feelings, instead of the normal I don’t know answer. Upcoming for her, is another season of ROCK (bible study for 1-3 graders) and soccer at her request. Kaiden has just been along for the ride. We have a special Father/Son night out in the works and baseball season starts at the end of March. Then there is the baby, Kailey. I still feel like she is getting the short end of the stick from the parenting stand point but we are getting better at dealing with the wrath of disciplining a two year old.

As for me, I have started another session as a table leader for a MOMs group. It is my two hours a week to be recharged and get my dose of just enough adult conversation and fellowship to make it through another week. I am also attempting to train for a half marathon in February. My husband and I are in a small group and meet once a week to grow together spiritually. We had Cardinals season tickets and enjoyed dating at every home game. Of course seeing the Cardinals win their first playoff game was a delightful way to spend time with each other, close friends, and about 80,000 screaming fans.

How are you spending your time this year? Our lives are busier than ever before. One thing is for certain, we do busy as a family. This Saturday is my birthday, but even more exciting will be the Cardinals playing the Saints, a must win, on the road to the Super Bowl. Join me next time, as I share how my husband and I turn our passion for sports into quality family time.

originally posted 1/15/2010

Our New Years Resolution: Time

This past summer, I wrote a series of articles on the topic Leaving A Legacy for the Girlfrientit.com site. I am on a never ending mission to figure out how to be in the moment while establishing a lasting legacy. My husband and I constantly and consistently work on establishing values and morals centered in Christ as the foundation of our family structure. Obviously, we are aware that our day to day actions are what build (or tear down) our legacy. Although this has proven to be a challenging feat, I am discovering that doing so in accordance with the four separate personalities of our children demands a tremendous amount of work on our part as parents.

I think as parents we have a moment when we are wondering why one of our children is so difficult or we clash with one more than the others. Then one day, all of a sudden, as we are looking them right in the eyes, we realize we might as well be looking in the mirror. The reason for the friction is because they are a clone of ourselves or the miniature version of our significant other. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to figure out the personalities of each of our family members. There is even a personality test on this site. Once we know each others personality we can adapt our demeanor to best deal with each other. What I struggle with is trying not to corrupt my children with my own dreams and aspirations for them, paired with putting them in a labeled box.

It is exhausting just to manage the everyday of our household, getting the kids to school, homework and the limited extra curricular activities they are allowed all while maintaining a thriving relationship with my husband. As the kids get older we are getting a clearer vision of their unique gifts and very different personalities. Their common denominator is that they are all very much strong willed and competitive.

Our oldest Kaleb, my step-son, is a senior in high school and has just been accepted into ASU’s School of Engineering. Although he has had to adjust to the whole blended family thing, we have learned to concentrate on our time with him and put the rest in hands greater than ours. For Kaleb, it has been important to me from day one not to separate him in any way from the rest of our family. He is in his fourth year of wrestling and we have made it to nearly every match. A difficult accomplishment when at some point throughout the years we have had toddlers, been pregnant, nursing, changing diapers, potty training and taking kids out of school all to support him. The greatest reward in all of the madness of sitting in a dirty smelly gym for 12 hour days came this year when he made it a point to thank us for coming after every match. A sign of affirmation to us as parents of his growth. It is very difficult to let go and watch him spread his wings and even more difficult to follow through on the discipline that has had to come when he has made poor choices. Our obstacle in parenting him is figuring out our place in his soon to be adult life and adjusting our boundaries from child to man.

Karisa, is eight and in the third grade. As much as I wish she was more athletic and had a passion for sports as I did, she does not. She is very quiet and enjoys the more artistic side of life. She loves to draw, read write and recently has fallen in love with taking pictures. My biggest obstacle in parenting her is getting her to talk to me. Her answer for everything is “I don’t know.” She even refuses to pick a favorite anything: part of a book, part of a movie, part of the day, etc. It kills me mostly because of the pressure I put on myself to have a meaningful mother/daughter relationship with her. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Kaiden is 5 and in kindergarten. We have been blessed with kindest spirit. He is always thinking of others, especially his sisters. He naturally puts others before himself and is the peacemaker in any situation. No matter where we are or what we are doing, strangers always have a comment about his contagious spirit. He is also truly wild at heart. The kid is on the go from the moment he opens his eyes until the second they shut at night. My greatest obstacle parenting him is trying not to crush his spirit while giving him the discipline he requires.

Kailey is 2. She is a firecracker. She definitely has a mind of her own and knows exactly what she wants. It is very funny to me how girly and unruly she is all at the same time. She loves to play with her babies, just like a real mommy and enjoys pretending (and on occasion has managed for real) to put on make up. She loves to sing, dance, and play dress up. It is really amazing since none of the girly stuff comes from me or her older sister. At the same time she has managed to bring Kaiden to his knees and loves to watch sports. My biggest obstacle in parenting her is to actually parent her instead of giving in, in order to keep the peace.

The most common New Year Resolutions are to loose weight, get fit, get out of debt, save money, or quit smoking. As a family our New Years Resolution is simply TIME. We intend to spend time as a family, time as individuals, time as husband and wife and taking the time to know and grow our children as individuals. Over the course of this year join me on our families journey of growth and share in our living Legacy of Time.

originally posted 12/31/2009