Taking Time to Pause

Spending quality time with each of our kids individually is always on our “to do” list but it is not something to check off and call it done. We strive to make it a part of life. As our lives are becoming busier, I am finding that a few minutes of individual quality time can be as rewarding, even more so, than planning a day filled of activities and hoopla. I often miss out on those opportunities because I am always going full speed ahead. As a list maker, I spend each day working to check each and every item off of that list, often failing to pause and just breathe and enjoy the day.

On my list today, I needed to pick up my packet for Pat’s run and go to the Harkins Movie Theater at Tempe Market Place to purchase Summer movie tickets. On schedule at 8:40 a.m. the baby and I jumped in the car and headed out to our destination.

Of course I am a wee bit challenged with directions, so we were in for an adventure from the get go. A few wrong turns and a u-turn later, we arrived at packet pick up. I get out of the car, grab the baby and start walking at my usual quick pace towards the tents. As I’m walking the baby starts saying, “The mountain. Look mommy the mountain.” She continued to go on and on about how “cool” and “big” the mountain was. I paused, for the first time in a long time, I paused. I looked at the mountain and could see the same awe that caught the eye of my toddler. After getting the packets, we took one more glance at the mountain and headed to our next destination.

A short drive down the road, we arrived at Tempe Marketplace. At the babies request, I put her in the stroller and we went straight to the Harkins. It took all of five minutes to get to the window and purchase the tickets. As I was swiftly walking back to the car to head home, I looked up and saw a handful of people just sitting around. They looked so relaxed, stress-free, and content. It was then when I realized the weather was gorgeous, making for a beautiful day. I took the stroller back to the car and told the baby we were going for a walk. We walked from the Harkins down to the Barnes and Noble. Obviously, being so early all the stores in between were closed. It was a perfect time to let my rambunctious two-year old walk free down the cobblestone walkway. She had a blast alternating the speed of her pace, from slow as a turtle to quick as a cheetah. She pointed out the flowers, the birds, and giggled at the water features. All things that go unnoticed in my quick get in and get out world.

We made our way into the Barnes and Noble and straight to the Starbucks we went. A grande coffee for mommy and a coffee cake for us to share. We sat in the café and at a leisurely pace, enjoyed our treat. I watched as her eyes lit up, in delight, with each and every scrumptious bite. We devoured every single crumb and then headed over to the kids books. I just watched with delight as she ooh and awed over all the books. She finally decided on an Elmo book for me to read. All on her own she choose, Elmo’s Take me Out to the Ball Game. Yes, that would be my girl. I read the book to her and found joy in the silly songs Elmo’s Dad sang to the tune of Take Me Out to The Ball Game and ending with “real” version. I even managed to throw in some love and logic parenting when she refused to put the book away. As I got down on my knees to be at her level, I looked her in the eyes and said, “Kailey, either you put the book away or mommy will put it away for you.” I started to count, “1, 2” and as soon as my mouth started to form the word three, she ran. Oh, well so much for that perfect parenting moment. After I caught her, I implemented parenting plan B: distraction. “Look Kailey, It’s Olivia.” I said, pointing to a stuff animal. She gave up the book and held Olivia. “Okay sweetheart, give her a hug goodbye,” I quickly instructed and we were on our way back.

We walked back down our same path towards the Harkins. Again, she marveled in all of the creation around us. Things that day after day I take for granted or don’t even notice. Our walk back was filled with, “Look mommies.” (Flowers, mommy birdies, clouds, color, cool air, people, water, bricks, trees) I kept her pace and even welcomed her adventurous detours. It was a great departure from me normally strapping her in a stroller or pulling her by the hand, eventually just picking her up in frustration of her pace, in order to get from point A to point B as quick as possible.

Today was a true blessing. I am privileged to be a stay at home mom and therefore everyday it is just the baby and me together during school hours. Far to often however, I put her on the back burner to accomplish my day to day task or our time together is contrived. Everyday I tell my kids, “shine like stars in the universe.” Not only did I get the pleasure of seeing my baby shine, I watched her sparkle with delight. Today is a day for the memory books and it wasn’t even on my “to do” list. Does this mean I will chuck my list? Nah. This just means that I will add, seeing the world like a two-year old baby girl to it. So I ask you, when was the last time you paused?

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Monday, April 5, 2010, marked Opening Day for the Arizona Diamondbacks and as tradition would have it, the Cisneros family was in attendance. Getting there every year is somewhat of a production but I must say it is getting easier. The kids skipped school that day because as far as I am concerned, Opening Day should be a National holiday. That’s an excusable absence right? It made for a more relaxed morning. We slept in, had breakfast, and started the shower merry-go-round. I received a text from my mother-in-law to look on our front door. I was ecstatic to find D-Back shirts for all the kids! How awesome is she? Karisa put her artistic abilities to work and made a sign to take to the game. All the while, the clock continued to tick and it was getting closer and closer to GO time but Mr. C. was still at work. Our plan was to have my mother-in-law pick up Kaleb and meet us at the game, and Mr. C. was to get off work early, grab us and get to the game, ON TIME. In true heart attack fashion Mr. C. showed up with seconds before I went into panic mode and we were off to the game.

As creatures of habit, we parked in our usual parking garage, and entered through the same entrance, stopping to get Mr. C. a loaded hot dog before making our way up to our seats. We glanced at the time and we were incredibly early. We shook things up and took the kids to play at the playground before the game (we usually go during the third inning). While they were playing I signed them up for the Kids Club and the No Chew Crew. The benefits include receiving coupons, free t-shirt and every Sunday home game free for the kids! We made our way up to our seats just in time for my favorite game time tradition, The National Anthem. I love glancing over at my family to see all their little hands over their hearts. I didn’t even have to remind anyone. This year, I was especially pleased to watch Kurt Warner throw out the first pitch and even more impressed when my kids starting yelling, “He plays for the Cardinals!”

Our routine trips to the restroom and constant need for the kids to be stimulated seem to be a thing of the past. Kaleb sat looking cool in his Ray Ban shades, Karisa was busy keeping score (seriously couldn’t be prouder), Kaiden watched the game intently, while chowing down on four corn dogs, and Kailey was entertained by cheering and clapping with the crowd. Before we knew it we were singing ‘Take me out to the Ballgame”, the kids ate ice cream bought by grandma, and the game was over. We made it through the ENTIRE game. I think that is a first for opening day.

It gets easier! These simple words were once spoken to me by another mom whose kids are a few years older and I try to pass on those simple words because it really does. Long gone are the days of a diaper bag full of every necessity for those “just in case” baby moments. Also, gone are the traditions that once were on Opening Day and are replaced with adventures as the kids get older. Still, when Stephen Drew hit a rare inside the park home run, I was in the restroom. Not because I had to take one of the kids but because I really had to pee. Go figure!

Letting Go of Tradition

As the oldest of five children, every holiday was a party even if we celebrated alone. Easter was no exception. We would wake up early in the morning and go on our first hunt of the day, for our Easter Baskets, followed by church. An Easter egg hunt and of course food, was next but the location throughout the year varied. Sometimes it was just us and sometimes with our extended family (which meant an abundance of people). Small was never a word used to describe our gatherings.

Flash forward to the present and three kids later, I have continued this tradition. For the past few years my siblings have come over and we would have at least 12 kids total. I love the sound of a full house, kids playing and a never ending supply of food. Our Easter egg hunt was held in stages allowing the younger ones a fair chance, and who ever found “The Lucky Egg” was rewarded with a cash inside. We would continue the games with sack races, three leg race, etc. to exert our competitive nature. The younger kids would go first, the middle aged kids, next and of course the adults got in the action by going last.

However, this year my siblings were not making it out to our home. Aside from feeling sad, I was completely unsure as what to do. It was hard for me to comprehend such a small egg hunt and the elimination of games. I struggled to come up with a Plan B. Then, we were invited to one of my husband’s family gatherings (a small wedding) and we decided we would just do that. Unfortunately, we thought it was in town but in reality it would have been 8 hours of drive time (there and back) for a three hour visit. So we decided not to go. I found myself in a panic and desperate to hang on to our traditions.

I was brought to my knees and given relief with a calming peace to just let it go. My husband reassured me that we could have a fabulous Easter day with just us. We decided on a Easter menu and our hearts were set on having a day of fellowship and praise. I called my mother and brother in law and invited them over for lunch, thinking for sure they already plans, but they were free. I texted my step-son to solidify plans for him to be over for church and lunch and before I knew it I had a mini Plan B.

Sunday morning, our kids woke up and I made pancakes for breakfast, they searched for their baskets, we went to an amazing church service, and went home to prepare for our guest. Our guest arrived and after my husband blessed our food, we ate and ate some more. There was only one other child besides our own, so we had a mini egg hunt inside the house and a confetti egg “eggstravaganza”. It wasn’t the big family affair with all the hoopla of years past BUT it was wonderful and just as God intended it to be.

In retrospect, I learned that the legacy of love and togetherness trumps tradition any day of the week.