Spending quality family time is crucial to having a thriving family but making time for ourselves as individuals is as equally important. As a family of six, we have struggled to balance between the two, all while juggling date night, Bible study, school work, dinner and all the other ins and outs that comes with managing a large family. We have a system in our family for making individual time a priority. It starts with declaring your passion of the moment. Once you have that figured out we follow these steps:
1. Set a Budget and Rules
2. Discuss Expectations
3. Create a Family Calendar
4. Be in the Moment
Setting a budget and rules is our first step. Finances play a major role in deciding what activities each individual can and can not do. We set aside money specifically used to participate in extra curricular activities. Keep in mind that there are other cost associated with activities aside from registration fees (practice equipment, water bottles, snacks etc.). We have to limit the amount of activities in a given period of time just because of logistics. During the last four years, while Kaleb wrestled, the other kids did not participate in anything extra. It would have been very difficult with the amount of traveling we did. We dedicated that time to Kaleb. Now that wrestling season is over, the rule in our house allows the other kids to each pick an activity. Kaiden chose T-Ball and Karisa chose soccer. Mr. C just started playing softball and I am continuing to train for my next race. However, there are times when our finances or our time do not allow for extra activities and we adjust accordingly.
Setting expectations allows everyone to be on the same page and alleviates miscommunication. We are in a season of our lives right now where Mr. C. is working long hours. When we were choosing activities for the kids, I knew that the burden of practices and games would be mine. I also knew that he would do what he could, when he could to carry some of that burden. Early in our marriage I would sign the kids up for things and then would get upset when he couldn’t make it or get overwhelmed with carrying the burden because I over booked myself. Now we are able to take a look at what we are getting ourselves into and come up with a game plan together. While Mr. C. plays softball and I run, we are committed to encouraging and supporting each other. Communication plays a major role in balancing our busy schedule.
Creating a schedule is a necessity for our family. It allows me to look at the day, week and month ahead. It also reminds everyone of the days activity. On the fridge, you could normally find what we are doing today. I have a weeks worth of activities displayed on my desk and everything else on a yearly calendar. Are you ready to see what the upcoming week looks like for the Cisneros Family?
Monday:
5:00p T-Ball
6:30p Bible Study
Tuesday:
9:00a MOMs
Wednesday:
5:30p T-Ball
Thursday:
Nothing
Friday:
5:00p Soccer
8:00p Softball
Saturday:
9:00a Soccer
Sunday:
7:30a Long Run
9:30a Church
Once you have all the logistics figured out, the key to maintaining peace in the chaos is to simply be in the moment. Remember this is individual time. I do my best to give as much support and praise to whatever kid we are watching. If our schedule permits we will go and watch Mr. C. play and support him, otherwise I make sure to ask him all about his game and give him assurance that our home life is covered. While I am out running, I have confidence that Mr. C has our home life covered and I concentrate on my run.
My advice to make sure that every member of the family feels like they are able to grow and accomplish things individually is to do it as a family. While one person in the family is cultivating their passion, the rest of the family should be their support (either by being there or giving them space). While activities will change, these steps continue to find themselves useful season after season.
1. Set a Budget and Rules
2. Discuss Expectations
3. Create a Family Calendar
4. Be in the Moment
Setting a budget and rules is our first step. Finances play a major role in deciding what activities each individual can and can not do. We set aside money specifically used to participate in extra curricular activities. Keep in mind that there are other cost associated with activities aside from registration fees (practice equipment, water bottles, snacks etc.). We have to limit the amount of activities in a given period of time just because of logistics. During the last four years, while Kaleb wrestled, the other kids did not participate in anything extra. It would have been very difficult with the amount of traveling we did. We dedicated that time to Kaleb. Now that wrestling season is over, the rule in our house allows the other kids to each pick an activity. Kaiden chose T-Ball and Karisa chose soccer. Mr. C just started playing softball and I am continuing to train for my next race. However, there are times when our finances or our time do not allow for extra activities and we adjust accordingly.
Setting expectations allows everyone to be on the same page and alleviates miscommunication. We are in a season of our lives right now where Mr. C. is working long hours. When we were choosing activities for the kids, I knew that the burden of practices and games would be mine. I also knew that he would do what he could, when he could to carry some of that burden. Early in our marriage I would sign the kids up for things and then would get upset when he couldn’t make it or get overwhelmed with carrying the burden because I over booked myself. Now we are able to take a look at what we are getting ourselves into and come up with a game plan together. While Mr. C. plays softball and I run, we are committed to encouraging and supporting each other. Communication plays a major role in balancing our busy schedule.
Creating a schedule is a necessity for our family. It allows me to look at the day, week and month ahead. It also reminds everyone of the days activity. On the fridge, you could normally find what we are doing today. I have a weeks worth of activities displayed on my desk and everything else on a yearly calendar. Are you ready to see what the upcoming week looks like for the Cisneros Family?
Monday:
5:00p T-Ball
6:30p Bible Study
Tuesday:
9:00a MOMs
Wednesday:
5:30p T-Ball
Thursday:
Nothing
Friday:
5:00p Soccer
8:00p Softball
Saturday:
9:00a Soccer
Sunday:
7:30a Long Run
9:30a Church
Once you have all the logistics figured out, the key to maintaining peace in the chaos is to simply be in the moment. Remember this is individual time. I do my best to give as much support and praise to whatever kid we are watching. If our schedule permits we will go and watch Mr. C. play and support him, otherwise I make sure to ask him all about his game and give him assurance that our home life is covered. While I am out running, I have confidence that Mr. C has our home life covered and I concentrate on my run.
My advice to make sure that every member of the family feels like they are able to grow and accomplish things individually is to do it as a family. While one person in the family is cultivating their passion, the rest of the family should be their support (either by being there or giving them space). While activities will change, these steps continue to find themselves useful season after season.
